why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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