So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
