You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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