she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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