I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
