so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
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