also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
