ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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