I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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