Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
