: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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