My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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