We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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