No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
