Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
