What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Randomize
