honey bunches of taint.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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