Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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