am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize