My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Randomize
