did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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