I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
