I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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