Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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