I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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