I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
