I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
