and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
