Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
