I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
