Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
