what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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