i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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