He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
