I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
