420 ftw
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
