What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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