I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
