He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
It's just like the Real World with babies
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
