I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Four minutes until I can fart!
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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