yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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