Fine. I'll sleep in my office
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
