I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
