Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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