thus making me awesome and them whores
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
