this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Randomize
