I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
