dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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