so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
