Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
