I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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