She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
