For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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