yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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