Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize