I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Oh god it's open bar.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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