So drunk, too bad you don't want this
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
