And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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