Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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