He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
