check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize