she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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