I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
