was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
