she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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