I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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