I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Just cropdusted the office
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize