That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
How does one acquire holy water?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
