My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
