I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
