My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
