$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
