would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
